Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Life is serious.

Life is serious. That has been my premise for 56 years. It takes hard work and responsibility. “Diligence enhances”: that has been our family motto for generations. To be successful, gosh, even to be loved and appreciated, to be valued one must work hard and prove one’s self.

It’s a fight. That has been my hook for 56 years. I must fight to prove myself, to change and grow. My goodness, I must fight just to survive, and fight harder to get ahead.

One day it hit me: I don’t want to get ahead. I’ve been operating from my head all of my life. Now I want to get a heart. It’s not like I didn’t have a heart before. I recognize that I am a very kind, loving individual. However, when the going gets tough, the tough close their hearts and try to figure it out. If that doesn’t work, you fight.

See, even when I was getting a head, I was fighting. One day I was doing a healing exercise. The only thing I had to do was to remain present. Since I like presents, I had no problem just sitting there and being with the other person. Afterwards, that person thanked me for being so present. That was all it took to open her heart to healing.

No fighting involved. No thinking involved. Hmm, what seems to be missing here is balance. To be truly present, I must become balanced: intellect, emotion and will. To get rid of this hook of the seriousness of life that requires me to fight to survive, I must be present to the wonder and enchantment of life.

This happens when curiosity overtakes the firm grip control has on my life. When I awaken to the experience, I realize there is an expectation, not for perfection—a perfect job, a perfect score—but an expectation of more to come. Being present means that I am aware. Being aware means that I am conscious. Being conscious means that I am creating my own life and destiny. That is a responsibility that I want to embrace with imagination and originality.

Unearthing a consciousness of being, who I am, at this moment, and allowing it to be enough is all that is needed. In being now, there is no fight to understand how to do it right, how to take responsibility. Exploring with optimism replaces the fear that the more I learn, the more I will be responsible for, the more I will have to prove.

Just being, replaces the need to fight to prove myself, even the need to fight for myself—because I already Am. I have been led all of my life—fearful of taking that responsibility on myself. It wasn’t really the partnership that I imagined, but more of an immaturity that kept me at arm’s length for fear of failure.

In balance there is no need to fight. A partnership with the Beloved requires this balance—a maturity of intellect, emotion and will that allows Divine intervention and grace, but with complete understanding that this is my life, and I am conscious of the decisions and choices that I make, and therefore responsible for them. This is how being led becomes gold.

This is not a heavy burden, for, as Jesus said, my yoke is easy and my burden is light! The yoke was on me the whole time! Gibran had it right when he wrote that your joy is your sorrow unmasked. Behind the fighting, behind the seriousness, behind the “I have to get this right and perfect”, is the joy and wonder of creating a beautiful, delightful life.

During this time of transition, during this time when, as a species, we are becoming more conscious, more aware of our responsibility, when we are becoming more mature in our actions, let’s not get ahead; let’s not get serious about the problems and difficulties of our times. Let’s not let fear be our guiding force—fear of destruction or damnation.

Holding on, digging in, fighting produces a stagnant energy that does not flow or change or evolve. Evolution means taking that hook and rather than bating it, abating it! We are being handed the keys to the kingdom. Let us receive them with love, gratitude and support for all of creation around us, which has loved, supported and shown us the way to flow since its inception.

Let us become excited to create a partnership with the Beloved, as well as with each other, while taking responsibility for our own lives and decisions and heart growth. And since the purpose of life is joy, then if that serious, “I’ve got to fight to get a head” attitude is not producing laughter, perhaps the secret, as I have discovered for myself, is to let go, and know in the face of reality that the only answer is Yes.