Today,
even the spider webs froze . . . along with the drops that yesterday’s
spring-like thaw provoked. Yesterday I could hear the water seeping down the
hillside. Today the ground is alive with the crinkle and crack of ice
contracting and expanding.
There is a curious thing I’ve noticed about
this global warming experience. It’s allowing us the opportunity to become more
flexible and aware.
I gave a
presentation the other day to a group of intelligent, enlightened women. With
this kind of group I’ve learned I can either be intimidated or curious as to
how spirit will use me. I invited them to share with me a Beginner’s Mind—for
even I am surprised by what I say sometimes!
The thing that made an impression on me
this time was the other side of our blocks. Or perhaps I should say the “in” side
of the block. We have an experience that hurts us, shames us, angers us, causes
us to freeze, and we tend to block off that experience creating a wall of
emotion that we don’t want to feel because we believe it is not safe.
Here I am, on the “in” side of this
wall, investing so much energy into keeping myself safe. I’ve used my energy to
create, block by block, a separation between this experience and myself. I’ve
used it as a sounding board for other incidents that I believe are similar—ones
that could hurt me, or scare me, or anger me.
And the
amazing thing about this wall is that I
built it! I built it—with my energy.
The bigger the wall, the stronger I Am. That truly is a gift—my gift. Then I
realize that gifts are for giving. I’ve got this incredible strength and I’ve
hidden it behind this wall of shame, or fear or anger. Instead of devoting this
energy to the story that I can’t protect myself, I can give myself the gift of
connection and support, and give others my gift of compassion and forgiveness.
Without the ice, though, sometimes it’s
hard to see the beauty and the strength that is the reality of our true selves.
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