Protection or Revelation

We so often see life as an either/or. Why can’t it be both/and? I want to protect myself—and—I want to open to new opportunities to grow myself without fear of being dependent. I want to take responsibility for valuing myself—and—I want to live in service to others without being manipulated.

Both scenarios require healthy boundaries; boundaries that support and protect me—and—are flexible and resilient in the face of life’s difficulties to allow for growing experiences that are sacred and revelatory.

Barbara Brennan speaks of the difference between the boundary of expansion and the boundary that we create in defense when “I” meet “You”. One holds the excitement of discovery, the other the separation and resistance to oneness or communion. One holds the uniqueness of a gift or invitation to love, the other a wall of anger, fear and pain. The one must encompass the other in compassion as we ground ourselves in our original nature, and learn to accept both as part of our worldly experience.

In a way, this both/and is a lot like the differences between men and women. We each have both energies—and—are healthiest when they are integrated within us. One day I was exploring my masculine energies and saw a magnificent Cottonwood tree. I took the opportunity to ask it: “You are an embodiment of focused power. What do you have to say to me?”

The Cottonwood replied immediately. “The source of my power and longevity is two-fold. It is in my rootedness and my nourishment. Ground down deep into Mother Earth, and drink up all you can from your network of support and words of wisdom. Keep an open mind to transform each situation into a new layer of growth—it’s not just your skin, your edge, that is of importance. It is your rings of substance that make all the difference.

“My growth is directional (masculine)—always toward the sun, or reaching deep below the ground. And yet at my core, my power is relational (feminine)—xylem and phloem bringing that nourishment, sun and earth, to the heart of my being. From there I flower and fruit to share with others. Your power to grow is masculine. Your power to love is feminine. And yet they are one and the same.”

Hmmm, makes me want to be human—and—be a tree!

Walking the Labyrinth

Every morning I go out to the labyrinth to pray and meditate. On the way in I recite what has become our family's pledge. There are 8 points to it. The first speaks of reconnecting to the land and establishing a sense of place that is bigger than one's self, encompassing this place and the whole of the universe.

The next point reflects the spiraling lineage through which that oneness becomes Oneness, as the individual connects to a family, community, nation, world and cosmos, always seeking to live for a higher purpose.

To accomplish this, the third point speaks of being able to see all people and all things as one's relation. All of creation is a teacher, and what is being taught is true ownership - finding the essence of these aspects in our selves and in others.

Being responsible for contributing to a world based on freedom, peace, unity and happiness is the fourth point, while the fifth speaks of standing on the shoulders of our ancestors and passing on our inheritance and our legacy to others, as life moves beyond this moment and expands.

The sixth point speaks of using our gifts to enrich the community, embodying our thoughts and feelings so that the blessing can be shared. This action then becomes “rooted” in our culture, as we strive to recreate a culture of heart and oneness centered on love.

Lastly, our family's pledge speaks of the Great Turning - that the time to act is now. Remember past hurts and failures only in order to learn from them and move beyond them. It is most important then to let them go, to release the past. Releasing opens the door to a new future, and liberating ourselves from the burden helps us take that step through the door into a new life.

With that I arrive at the center and place the offering I have found along the way. Sometimes the offering comes with a reminder to keep going, sometimes with a reminder that the path through darkness does indeed lead to a new day. Sometimes I am entreated to focus on a particular person or situation, or encouraged to keep up the work I've already started.

I always begin the journey outward with an intention for the day. Family and friends always join me on the way out as well. The labyrinth receives it all, offering back love, protection, encouragement and peace. And with that, I begin my day.

Fire . . . AND Ice

 Today, even the spider webs froze . . . along with the drops that yesterday’s spring-like thaw provoked. Yesterday I could hear the water seeping down the hillside. Today the ground is alive with the crinkle and crack of ice contracting and expanding.

There is a curious thing I’ve noticed about this global warming experience. It’s allowing us the opportunity to become more flexible and aware.

I gave a presentation the other day to a group of intelligent, enlightened women. With this kind of group I’ve learned I can either be intimidated or curious as to how spirit will use me. I invited them to share with me a Beginner’s Mind—for even I am surprised by what I say sometimes!

The thing that made an impression on me this time was the other side of our blocks. Or perhaps I should say the “in” side of the block. We have an experience that hurts us, shames us, angers us, causes us to freeze, and we tend to block off that experience creating a wall of emotion that we don’t want to feel because we believe it is not safe.

Here I am, on the “in” side of this wall, investing so much energy into keeping myself safe. I’ve used my energy to create, block by block, a separation between this experience and myself. I’ve used it as a sounding board for other incidents that I believe are similar—ones that could hurt me, or scare me, or anger me.

And the amazing thing about this wall is that I built it! I built it—with my energy. The bigger the wall, the stronger I Am. That truly is a gift—my gift. Then I realize that gifts are for giving. I’ve got this incredible strength and I’ve hidden it behind this wall of shame, or fear or anger. Instead of devoting this energy to the story that I can’t protect myself, I can give myself the gift of connection and support, and give others my gift of compassion and forgiveness.

Without the ice, though, sometimes it’s hard to see the beauty and the strength that is the reality of our true selves.

The Fire of Transformation

I saw a burning bush today!

Ah, so that's how it was done, was my first thought. Then, so what is God's message to me today? Take my shoes off? no way; it's 7* out here with 6 inches of icy snow on the ground. No desert here.

Again, I am struck with the importance of awareness for being in the right place at the right time. The bush, the sun, the atmosphere, the season, the hour, my spiritual practice of walking the labyrinth, the woods that generously allowed a space for the labyrinth, my move to PA--I could go on! and, I still could have missed the burning bush.

Even in His loudest voice God's work is relational and in communion with creation. If we're not paying attention, even the miraculous is but a whisper of white noise in the busyness of our mind's chatter or our multi-tasking lives.

 What was God saying? To Moses, He was promising a land flowing with milk and honey. God even told Moses His name: I Am. I wasn't looking for a miracle so I went back inside to prepare for my client. She has had a series of misfortunes from back surgery to losing her job; from a growing awareness of the damage incest has done in her life to a loving husband who has had a life-threatening illness.

Asking for guidance I was told to share these feelings with the client:

I am in pain AND I am grateful

I am afraid AND I am grateful

I am in despair AND I am grateful

I am angry AND I am grateful

I am speaking out AND I am grateful

I am letting go AND I am grateful

I guess that burning bush had a message for me after all AND I am grateful.

Big Enough to Hold the Now

I’ve always prided myself on my adaptability, on my flexibility. Today I am seeing this word: Resilience—bouncing back after a setback or surprise.  That set me to pondering the difference between flexibility and resilience.

I’m flexible. I can bend and shift, stretch and shape myself to fit into many situations and relationships. I’m discovering that isn’t always a healthy thing. I see that by doing that in my life I have often given up my own shape to make room for another’s.

Being resilient, I am noticing, retains my own boundaries; my own desires and needs while taking into account what is happening around me. Being resilient is a response to the present moment, to the now. Adaptability looks at the past and takes that into account in shaping who I am now.

I’m not saying that one is more important or necessary than the other. This is a both/and situation. Yes, I can look at the past, but recognizing that the past is Not Now, my resilience in bouncing back to a balance and stability that can navigate the now gives me the opportunity to learn from the past and maintain those boundaries that serve me and my relationships in health and safety.

In energy healing I am encouraged to experience a container that is big enough to hold all the emotions present in the now, whether they are exacerbated by my own past experiences or are being expressed by the other and I am feeling them empathically.  Having resilience makes it possible to take some of those “learned behaviors” from the past that have shaped my container in less than healthy ways and stay aware to the fact that I am big enough to hold the Now.

Building Sacred Space

When I turned 50 I was guided to build a labyrinth in my backyard. It was a 7-circuit classic Labyrinth. I outlined the path with small, white marble chips. Lo and behold, the earth rose up over those chips creating an embossed effect. It was as if the Earth embraced the pattern becoming one with it.

That labyrinth was green, moist and mossy. The one I am building here in Pennsylvania, exactly 10 years later, is brown, dry and dusty. There was a perfect spot for it in the woods next to my house—one of those wonderful glades I am attracted to. A little bit smaller than the spot in my backyard, this space will hold a 5-circuit labyrinth.

It’s like a magnet. Even as I create it, I am drawn to it. It’s like the land is thirsty for the water of my emotion. The labyrinth radiates peace and safety, and I find, as I did before, that my day must start grounded in this Sacred Space.

A Return to Wholeness

I was meditating on the prayer I shared with you last week. May I be “found by wholeness . . .” For me, the concept of wholeness is multi-faceted. I am whole when I consider my mind, my body and my spirit. I am whole when I allow myself to reflect the Divine. I am whole when the choices I make also reflect this connection to Wholeness on all levels.

Supporting this wholeness, and creating the environment to surround me is a life-long endeavor. My body needs light, air, food and water. But we are becoming more and more aware that it makes a difference if the air is pure and the food is organic and not genetically modified. It makes a difference if I can go out and relax in nature, relieving the stress of this modern-day life, if only for a time.

Creating a new choice for the environment within—one that feeds my mind and spirit is just as important. A positive attitude and a faith-based intention have been shown to heal. Doing good works and having integrity also creates an environment that is conducive to something new.

Carolyn Eberle writes: “Freedom comes when your wholeness is a consistent force you can tap in to for support.” When I find myself weighed down by patterns of behavior learned through pain, abandonment and betrayal, I re-member that letting down my defenses allows me, once again, to be open to be found by Wholeness.