Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Fire . . . AND Ice

 Today, even the spider webs froze . . . along with the drops that yesterday’s spring-like thaw provoked. Yesterday I could hear the water seeping down the hillside. Today the ground is alive with the crinkle and crack of ice contracting and expanding.

There is a curious thing I’ve noticed about this global warming experience. It’s allowing us the opportunity to become more flexible and aware.

I gave a presentation the other day to a group of intelligent, enlightened women. With this kind of group I’ve learned I can either be intimidated or curious as to how spirit will use me. I invited them to share with me a Beginner’s Mind—for even I am surprised by what I say sometimes!

The thing that made an impression on me this time was the other side of our blocks. Or perhaps I should say the “in” side of the block. We have an experience that hurts us, shames us, angers us, causes us to freeze, and we tend to block off that experience creating a wall of emotion that we don’t want to feel because we believe it is not safe.

Here I am, on the “in” side of this wall, investing so much energy into keeping myself safe. I’ve used my energy to create, block by block, a separation between this experience and myself. I’ve used it as a sounding board for other incidents that I believe are similar—ones that could hurt me, or scare me, or anger me.

And the amazing thing about this wall is that I built it! I built it—with my energy. The bigger the wall, the stronger I Am. That truly is a gift—my gift. Then I realize that gifts are for giving. I’ve got this incredible strength and I’ve hidden it behind this wall of shame, or fear or anger. Instead of devoting this energy to the story that I can’t protect myself, I can give myself the gift of connection and support, and give others my gift of compassion and forgiveness.

Without the ice, though, sometimes it’s hard to see the beauty and the strength that is the reality of our true selves.

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