Our Collective Conscious (part 2)

Upstairs, alone, no, not alone . . . here comes the dog, Rumi, and the cat, Katie. Always anxious to share an experience, Rumi comes to give kisses and then lie at my feet. Katie comes to make sure she’s not missing any of the action, and will eventually lie down in my lap.

I was writing about my life-changing experience. I’ve always been interested in how what I do can impact/support the bigger picture. That is why I focus on changing myself, and I am not so interested in news or politics. But my perspective has changed to see that it is that bigger picture that is important—and is what I am changing for. But wait, this is more than just a change in perspective.

I’ve experienced a Moment before—a moment where I was “caught up into the Heavens” and, keeping my Oneness, my unique individual identity, I experienced being a Wholeness, One with every other thing—a moment of Nirvana. But that was Me as a particle, in the midst of other particles making up the Light.

The change that I’m talking about is not a Moment, but a Being. Suddenly, I was not a point, a particle, a One, I was a wave, a beingness that was the Light—and the flow encompassed past, present and future. In that being, histories flashed before me, and I felt so much bigger than before, and I was exhausted by it all. In knowing that I’m bigger I have to act on that. I can no longer condone my separateness or my fear. I can no longer deny myself access to power since it is a bigger beingness in me that I can no longer refuse.

This Consciousness of Being is not a phenomenon unique to me. It is a Collective Conscious that I believe has evolved as we have worked to uncover our Collective Unconscious. Our cultural archetypes seem to reveal the gamut of our successes and failures as a species. According to Will and Ariel Durant’s "The Lessons of History", history is the only true philosophy, showing the limitations of man. Man may change his habits, but not his instincts, thus seemingly to become doomed to face the endless repetition of mistakes and successes, downfalls or triumphs as seen in the recurring rise and fall of civilizations throughout history.

However, the Durants go on to say that civilization promotes cultural creativity, the basis upon which arts, morals and laws grow. It is here that evolution finds its building blocks. As the species that have as our uniqueness achieved an “awareness” of the universe around us, we are not swept into the evolutionary stream of consciousness by our instinct or individuality alone. We have a “God-consciousness”, an “I Am” that mirrors not the individual “I” that we often mistake it for, but the “One” that can evolve into or encompasses the Whole.

The Durants would support this by agreeing that the basis of wisdom, which is required to balance order and freedom within society, is our religious beliefs, morals and character developed to overcome instincts through socialization, thus developing civilization. Thus the relationship between wisdom and civilization has played out in a spiral form since Cain and Abel sacrificed their burnt offering.

This is an evolutionary, albeit a cultural change, that was first uncovered in the writings of Jung and others as the Collective Unconscious. Now, we are beginning to see this stream of unconsciousness gradually emerging into deliberate, conscious, specific acts of selflessness, as well as politically, environmentally, and financially aware decisions made by society as a whole.

These are not my, or even your, values being played out, although our individual moments of awe and wonder make it possible for us to conceive of a Collective Conscious that reinvents the human and lifts us into a higher spiritual development and the promise of a bright future.

As our hope for the future has increased over the last few decades with such leaders and visionaries as Martin Luther King, Mahatma Gandhi, Rachel Carson, Desmond Tutu and E.F. Schumacher to name a handful, we have come to realize that change within the religious, financial, environmental or political realms only comes when we recognize humankind as family and family as universal.

On Evolution and Our Collective Conscious

Did you ever have a day where you changed so much that you knew that you would never be the same again? A day where you could never return to your old way of life, to your old way of looking at yourself? Today was such a day for me.

It was an ordinary day, as far a Christmases go. We did the ordinary things one does on Christmas. My husband and I had a leisurely breakfast as we waited for our daughter and son-in-law to come from his family’s home. Their tradition is to gather on Christmas Eve in front of the fire. Ours is to share Christmas morning, so we work well together.

I didn’t change externally. I made the Christmas dinner—chicken breasts stuffed with spinach and feta cheese, garlic mashed potatoes and broccoli with my specialty spinach and cranberry salad on the side. After dinner, I lost the “Worst Case Scenario” Survival game we played together, but my husband won, and since he rarely wins or plays any of our games everyone was happy for him.

We spent time together figuring out how to use some of our gifts. I got the photo key ring I had my eye on for years. I gave my husband a portable battery car charger/tire inflator. He discovered you can also plug your coffee pot into it in case of a blackout! Ben and Kjersti had fun trying to figure out how to connect a dance program to the TV.

Later on the kids went out to see a movie, my husband fell asleep watching a James Bond movie, and I came upstairs to reflect on the past few days. I had just come back from the second week of my Healing class. In this first year the focus is on discovering/uncovering the self. No matter how much I know about me, there’s always more to be revealed.

I’ve spent a large portion of my life trying to discover my self, my purpose, my direction, my offering. My questioning has always been to be shown my gifts and how they can be used for the sake of a higher purpose. That changed when our daughter got married and I asked instead, what do I need to do for me in order to do those big things.

Since then it has been a roller coaster ride of feelings, expansions and contractions, some gentle, some not. Trying to get in touch with my power has been a recurring theme. Finally I sat down with a paper and pencil and said, “Ok, show me what my power looks like.” I drew a strongly spinning force in the middle of the page with definite roots connecting to the Earth, two large spinning forces on my right and left, and energy flowing down from above. I wrote: supported from above, from ancestors/ spirits/ guides, from the Earth.

On the next page I drew a picture of my fear: one dot, alone. I looked from one page to the next. It made no sense. My power was in all the support I knew/felt I had, my fear in not having that support, of being/feeling alone. The dichotomy was too obvious for me to ignore or to fool myself any longer. Time to step into my power.

But this wasn’t what changed my life. It was a big step, but one that has been coming for a while. No, I was still baking when I had another revelation during the writing of my Wisdom University paper. We had to discuss our understanding of the relationship between wisdom and civilization. I began by writing that it is our time to let the power of a mother’s love shine through us. When we are aware, we see it everywhere. Our power does not have to be centered on arrogance, dominance, or possessiveness. Our inheritance is a consciousness of relationship that can be seen and remembered in a mother’s love.

This mother’s protection, which has followed us through the rise and fall of greater and longer lasting civilizations than the American Empire, is about to push us out of the nest to see if we truly are able to fly. At this moment, my interior journey came to have no meaning. What is amazing about our species, Homo sapiens, is that our unique self—rife with values and self-enlightenment, is on an even keel with other species in that we are unable to enter a New Age individually. We must enter as a species, or not at all.

This is our key to understanding the relationship between wisdom and civilization. We may individually glimpse higher states of consciousness, find moments of extraordinary insight and discover the unlimited potential of the human being. However, how often do we hold on to these moments in ordinary society, or even within the familiarity of our family life—and make it matter?

But wait! This still was all churning within me the night before Christmas as I barely made the deadline for writing my paper. Stay tuned for Part 2 to watch the drama unfold further as I sat in the attic after the hustle and bustle of Christmas contemplating the reality of evolution and our Collective Conscious.

Culture and Responsibility

In one of my last classes an exercise was proposed that would allow us to experientially participate in our own healing, and in that of our partner. With the pronouncement that cognition, or understanding the source of our pain wasn’t enough, our instructor said that the purpose of this exercise was to create a lived experience, both emotionally and physically, in order for healing to take place.

We could choose to be either “mother” or “child”. I chose to be the “mother”, as this is a role I am more familiar with being the oldest girl in my family with nine younger siblings. All “mothers” were to gather in another room for instructions. We were told that we had three children and a husband who was upset about losing his job. We were therefore to be visibly hostile toward the baby, with an attitude of not wanting it. For many of us this was very difficult to hear, and I felt afraid for the babies. The instructor’s response to our outrage was to say that the intention of the exercise was healing. I felt I had no choice but to go along with it.

I sat down next to an older man who had been instructed to lie helpless—only being able to move his head slightly left or right—an infant of about two to three weeks of age. I didn’t look at him, and projected anger, which was easy to do since I didn’t like how the exercise was set up. I focused on the baby who was lying there so helpless and terrified. At some point it was announced that we were now “good-enough” mothers and could hold the baby and give it love with our eyes. That was such a release for me as I rushed to make up for what I had done. My baby was so responsive and receiving of the love. I stroked him and held him, looking adoringly at him, and he was so happy.

After the exercise, I wanted to be alone and went to my room to think about it. I was still very upset, and I finally realized why. I felt I had been betrayed by the school, by the teachers and was at first angry with them. Then I got angry with myself for allowing it to happen. I had betrayed myself, and my principles by going along with the exercise and the subsequent deception and betrayal of the baby.

I thought about times when I just went along with what an authority figure told me. “It’s for the best. It’s for the good of the whole. It will be healing for you in the long-run.” Abdicating my own responsibility and leaving the decision to others, I notice makes me angry and resentful. I still make the same mistake though—like when I accepted my role as “angry mother” and knowingly hurt that poor “baby” in the name of healing. However, I have not given up on learning or changing. I am not interested in blaming someone else, or the “establishment”. I am willing to take responsibility for my own actions and the resulting betrayals as well as successes. And I am committed to self-care, acknowledging that I would speak with my instructor about this experience and register my feelings in the situation.

Afterwards, I told my friend and she said . . . “but . . .” and went on to explain how it had impacted her. It was an exercise in the schizoid characterology after all, meant to uncover those early fears and rejections. She said that since I don’t have an overabundance of schizoid issues I should go along with it for the sake of the others who do. This sounded like more of the same to me—let someone else decide what I needed. I said again, that’s why I decided to look at it as an anger/betrayal issue, especially of myself. This was what I needed to learn from it.

What would I do the next time, I thought? I decided that I might even do the exercise, but I would do it with my own permission, and not just follow blindly. The whole point of the exercise was to create a “felt experience” in a safe environment in order to allow one’s self to let go of the mind’s hold on past wounds and events by actually feeling them and then bringing them into the present. This was something that I believed in, and by taking responsibility for my actions, I would experience exactly what I needed for this to happen.

Cosmic Rainbow

black void before the light
molten red around iron core
orange-in [origin!] of creation
bursting forth in yellow light
green growing, winding, swirling
toward the opening blue sky
into the vast, infinite indigo of space
decorated with white stars that expand ever outward
into the no-thing-ness of the black velvet void


This is my neighbor and sister, Doris Kennedy, who paints the intuitive reality
of quantum physics and the space between the space between the space.

God Is Afoot

God is my foot
as I dance upon the tables
of the money changers
The tables of gold--altars of selfish gods
are altered as I dance.
Molten gold turns cents to sense
as I find myself in the presence
of the Beloved
(I like presents)

God is my hand and my body
and my being.
Whirling in the molten sunlight
I rise in joy, in ecstasy
As I too become molten, the closer
I get to the sun.

Unlike Icharus, as I melt,
I find my wings.

(dedicated to Samantha, whose youth and wisdom
are an invitation to dance)

I want to take hold of my life and LIVE!

"I feel the Core Star Energy in each cell of my being. Like dancing sparkles, only better, more brilliant, more expansive. I feel each cell bursting into light --one here, one there--like popcorn in the microwave. Increasing in momentum--pop, Pop, POP--my cells are exploding, first one and then another, cascading throughout my body like Great Falls, Virginia, where all the streams from the hills meet in one rocky place and find their reason and purpose to flow together into oneness. I have met my sister and we are one illuminating light together: creating love, peace, healing Breath!" (written on day 4 of the week's experience, during a writing exercise at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing)

Needless to say it was a great experience. Before I signed up (which happened very quickly and unexpectedly) I had asked: "Our daughter has married and moved out; I've lost my job; Dad is passed and Mom is all settled in her new place; I have spent enough time contracting and having space and am now beginning to feel sorry for myself--what is it that I need to do for me?" I was immediately brought to the Barbara Brennan School of Healing. Definitely the place to uncover my wounds and heal, while at the same time being filled up in order to give.

Normally I would have asked: "What is it that You would have me do?" The new focus of my question has created new clarity and perspective that is uncovering my power. No, that is the way it is expressed easily, but power is misunderstood and too often abused. A deeper way to say that is that I am 'feeling my life': its past with all my wounds, difficulties, and confusion; its present with all my insecurities, fears, blocks and regrets; and its future with all the love that I want to pour out of my being in partnership with the Beloved, all my potential to realize loving relationships on this Earth and Be who I Am.

Now my head goes back to the last two blogs about pursuing goodness and allowing myself the freedom to be me with the accompanying responsibility, good results, and discipline to learn the harmony and flow of the Principles of Creation. This new place is balancing that headiness with the heart focus of letting myself drop or sink in to the awareness that I Am already, and it is enough.

Pursuing Goodness (part 2)

Freedom wasn’t the only criteria for goodness or wisdom however. I also discovered that there is no free will without responsibility. I alone am responsible for my actions. No matter what I do alone, or in conjunction with another, the freedom to act meant that I was responsible for the results. If the results were positive I could rejoice. Often I found myself hurting other’s hearts. The freedom that I thought I was gaining by acting on my beliefs showed me instead the harsh reality of my immaturity. The pursuit of wisdom was an on-going process stretching out before me for the rest of my life, if I had the courage to learn the hard discipline of being responsible for this freedom.


I was discovering that in order to create a reality and a path based on these principles one needed the same discipline and rules that creation lived by naturally. One of the most important points for me was patience. It takes time to grow and change, and growth can be measured by looking at the development of my relationship with myself and with others.

That was when I realized that there is no freedom without actual results—and those results bring about my own personal transformation and growth. In pursuing wisdom, in looking for a Path to wholeness, I discovered that the Way itself was not the question, nor the answer. In religion, the one leads to the All leads to the One. In science the atom leads to the Universe leads to the no-thing-ness. As the Japanese poet Basho writes, “Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.” Every day of my life I must recognize the question and the answer of who I Am, being at home and one with myself, while being in relationship and in oneness with all those around me.

As I got older I had another invaluable insight that helped me understand my own individual pursuit of wisdom toward the greatest wisdom of being good. My connection with God, although a strong base and stable support, was not enough. True creativity on the path towards goodness did not happen alone, but in union with another, and then in community. I prayed, “God, let me understand how to have right relations with all beings.” With this I was led to the study of Earth Literacy.

In nature I saw in practice the value of diversity, cooperation, mutual respect and long-term commitment. I experienced unconditional love, patience and forgiveness. It was obvious that these were values that humankind has a hard time remembering, and wisdom that our connection with everything around us could teach us. “Creation waits in eager longing for the sons of God to be revealed.” (Romans 8:19) Earth offers us her gifts and we are only now beginning to realize that we have squandered them.

It dawned on me then that the path toward wisdom I was on was not my own, but one the whole human community was following. Some of us have achieved freedom from want, hunger, and the elements, but has it led to goodness and responsibility? Our innovations have led to advancements in technology, medicine and industry, but many of these efforts have not been made in a disciplined way—they have not taken into account the principles by which the rest of creation has lived and thrived. This we see in the results around us.

My efforts were not for me alone, but ones that had to be made in concert with the rest of humankind. As my own understanding of community grew, so did my desire for like-minded individuals who also believed in the goodness and the need at this time towards responsible living. Having this support was necessary if the impact was to be felt worldwide.

However, I did not want to become part of another social movement, protesting this or that. For a long time in my life, I felt that in order to change I had to fight. I had to fight against the pattern of society around me in which I did not fit. I fought against my parents and my church because I didn’t fit in their pattern either. Trying desperately to fit in to a society that had different beliefs and values than I did because I wanted, I needed to belong, I fought against myself as well.

What I found in nature was peace, as I felt the interconnection of each unique piece, none more valuable or powerful than the other, each fitting into the cosmic scheme, each being themselves, offering themselves for the greater good of the other, and adapting and evolving to find their place in the universe. This reflected the difference between domination, resistance or oppression, and creativity.

At this point I recognize that creatively for people to become themselves there must be cultural development and understanding that leads us back to our relationship with Mother Earth and Father Sky, with all uniquely valuable beings in this physical realm from the smallest bacteria to the largest galaxy, and with the myriad beings in the spiritual or other-dimensional worlds that also wait in eager longing for humankind’s next step in the pursuit of wisdom. It was at this time in my life, then, that I was led to study at Wisdom University.

It is in our culture that we hold our beliefs and morals, our thought patterns and our fears. Our culture is what gives us our symbols and our stories, from being chained in a cave to finding our way into the light on the mountaintop. It also produces the consequences that we see around us, many of which are the result of the fear that holds us back from achieving greatness. This greatness, as I see it, being a product of wisdom, is in the creativity of wholeness, when people realize that problems are larger than themselves, and begin finding the answers in community. Paul Ray aptly labels these pioneers the Cultural Creatives, and it is within this interconnectiveness that I am in the process of discovering my unique contribution.

Pursuing Goodness (part 1)

Why did God make the sun to shine,
If it doesn’t shine
All of the time?

Why did God make the men who sin,
If in sinning
They turn away from Him?

My first thoughts of God appeared to be deep and transcendental. Writing this poem in elementary school expressed just some of the many questions I had about life, God and religion. I grew up in a Catholic family, the oldest girl of eleven, with one older brother. There were eight boys and three girls. My mom was a nurse and my dad an electrical engineer. We were taught that the Catholic religion was the one true religion and that family mattered.

Another question that bothered me was about the reality of hell. I had my first experience with death at the age of eight when my uncle, my grandmother and my young cousin all died within a month of each other. My mom must have handled communicating this to us very well, since I have no memory of a fear of death. I remember going to say our last goodbyes to an open coffin. I still recall vividly Uncle Willie, with his bright, thick, white hair and florid complexion, looking so peaceful and content in death, as in life. That was no surprise to me since I was told repeatedly that he was a good man and therefore would find his place in Heaven.

After that month of an outpouring of familial love, I began questioning the logic of Hell. If God truly is a God of love, I asked, how can He possibly condemn any of His children to Hell for eternity? Even the worst person on Earth can find one person who will love and forgive him—most likely his mother. If, in all our frailty and selfishness, we humans can find it in our hearts to do that, how can a God of infinite love deign to condemn someone forever? I could understand punishment, but not eternal damnation. Slowly I was working my way beyond the thresholds of Catholicism.

Then there was the question of Jesus. Following years of grammar school questions, when I entered high school and continued to question, not my faith—surely there was a God with whom I had a very close relationship—but the details, that were to be believed unquestioning—my mother resorted to asking her sister, who was a nun, over to the house on a regular basis. “If God is God, and Jesus is God, why do we need Jesus?” My aunt’s answer to that was a short: “Don’t worry about it. As long as you believe in God, that’s ok.” At that point I decided to find my own answers, taking courses in Hebrew, learning the ancient philosophers, and studying early Christian history.

Outside of school I would stop and talk to anyone who stopped me. Since I was in New York City, and it was the ’70s, there were innumerable groups vying for my attention—from the Hare Krishnas, the Seventh Day Adventists, the Mormons, Scientologists, to the Moonies. I visited Baptist churches, Jewish synagogues and Hindu temples. I worshiped with Buddhist, Christian and Shinto. I read Siddhartha and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, along with the Bible and the Dead Sea Scrolls. I threw the I Ching faithfully, but I never did get into the reading of Tarot cards.

In the end (or perhaps it was the beginning of the beginning), when it came to following a Path, I did what I always did—I asked. I asked God. I threw it out there to the Universe in all its vast wisdom of the ages—and, for the first time in my life, I got no answer. I had always gotten very clear answers before. Do this; don’t do that; listen closely; lighten up; always the guidance was substantial and resonated deeply within my being. This time I pleaded, I demanded, I cursed, I ranted, I threatened, I begged, and the answer I received was always the same. “Anne, it’s up to you. It’s your choice.”

I didn’t want it. I didn’t want the freedom—or the responsibility—to decide what was right or good for me. I wanted to be told; I wanted to obey; I wanted to follow. God never let me off the hook. That was when I started piecing together what the meaning of true freedom was. There is no freedom without my deciding and then taking action. Sitting on the fence made me a prisoner of the circumstances. Following someone else’s beliefs was no better. Even just pronouncing my own belief in something without acting upon it daily was not freedom, but a life dictated by the precepts of others. I must recognize the truth in my own heart, what was right for me, at this time, in this place. Then, putting my whole heart into it, I could say that I was leading a good life.

Wisdom as a Way of Life

The next paper I had to write for my PhD was about what “Wisdom as a Way of Life” means to me. What I first came up with was that wisdom would be the knowledge and insight that my experience and intuition has taught me as I delve beneath the surface of life. Explaining this in terms of the ideals and beliefs that I have and then relating the thoughts and feelings that I experience as I try to live my life as a reflection of these ideals, was my first goal.

The discoveries that I make in living a wisdom way of life are grounded in a belief system, but are substantiated through practice. Therefore, I whole-heartedly agree with philosophers when they say that wisdom is a pursuit rather than a possession. I also agree with Emerson who writes “all my best ideas were stolen by the ancients.” As a result, I wanted to rely on the expression of my heart, rather than the creation of an essay of ideas for my paper.

But I started with an overview of what I believe: At some point in our development human beings lost an intimate connection with the Beloved along with the habit of seeing the pattern of the whole. Thus, we look for knowledge, for principles, both scientific and spiritual (or religious), to explain our purpose and our longing for Oneness. However, unless we rediscover the wisdom that comes with relating to the Beloved, unless we come to reflect the harmony and goodness that is the Source and pattern of creation, we will not be able to achieve our own potential.

When we go back to our roots, to our connection with the Source, we discover the true wisdom of our own creation and belonging. This wisdom is reflected in the principles from which the very universe was created. One such principle is what Brian Swimme calls “allurement”—the simple attraction of one for another with the purpose of creating something more diversified and whole. The essence of allurement—which began with the out-breathing of the Big Bang, and the in-breathing of gravity—wraps us in an ever-expanding spiral of relational giving and receiving. This is the moment when we are touched and embraced by the very universe itself—a moment of grace, Thomas Berry calls it—one we can recapture every day. That is our responsibility.

I believe the most fundamental characteristic of this world is allurement, or in our case, love. Love is unselfish, always thinks of the larger picture, and is always living for the sake of others. This is the nature we were created with, and developing this kind of character is something that we have yet to attain. To relearn this original ideal and heart of love we must develop it within the experience of a truly loving family. We not only lost our connection with the Beloved and with nature, we also lost love—our ability to love as parents, as children, as brothers and sisters, as husband and wife.

Actually, contemplating the idea of wisdom further, I began to entertain the notion that wisdom is not knowledge at all. In my perception, knowledge is based on the understanding of the principles and laws that manage and maintain the physical or substantial world, and the spiritual or insubstantial, perhaps other-dimensional, world. Our experience of these worlds (and this is not implying that there are two distinct worlds, but rather two aspects of the same world) helps us express these principles in scientific and spiritual terms.

Practicing, or putting into action what we have experienced, helps us live in harmony within the structure and pattern that makes up the whole. Remembering is the groundwork or foundation for our experiences that connects us with our roots, with our inheritance, and gives us a sense of place within the schema of the cosmos.

However, wisdom is beyond knowledge or experience or remembering. I believe wisdom is embraced during that moment of awe that comes with the openness to receive the wonder and greatness of the universe. The heart of wisdom is the realization of I Am as I open to receive the love emanating from the Heart of the Beloved, believing that I Am, in all my individuality, also in Oneness with the Source. Living beyond the boundaries of control or understanding, a wisdom way of life exists within the flow of creativity that is the source of love, life and lineage.

This is wisdom, as I know it. The only thing I can be sure of is that I know nothing from myself, but I can, at moments, be open to the whole, for I have the stuff of stars in my lungs, and the lava of love in my veins, and I have surely felt the Beloved’s kiss in the early morning mist and in the wonder of my daughter’s love.

Families

Hello all! I haven't written in awhile because I've spent the month of June and part of July helping my Mom move. As soon as I returned home I had to jump full swing into planning and executing our only daughter's wedding. It's taking place next week, but I found I needed to settle back and write a bit in order to fill my lungs to prepare myself for the last leg of her journey to independence and a family of her own.

I did have a few minutes to jot down some notes at the airport on July 9, and since my thoughts turned to family at that time as they are doing now, I will reproduce them here for your enjoyment or edification--or both!

As I waited at the airport in Milwaukee, a family of five walked past me. I noted that the Dad appeared tired and was somewhat sloppily dressed in comparison with the Mom who was wearing stylish pedal-pushers. They had three young boys, aged about 10, 7, and 5. The oldest had the looks of his father. The middle one the blond hair and flashy style of his mom. The youngest was a nice mix of the two of them, which is often the case as you go down the line.

As soon as they sat down, Dad and boys got up again, I'm assuming to visit the rest room. They got on the moving walkway and again I noted the Dad's stooped shoulders and worn out look. Suddenly he was transformed! The four of them had turned around on the walkway and, walking against the flow, appeared to be walking in place.

"Hey, Mom," the youngest shouted. "Look at us!" I had to smile as the Dad, years dropping away from his frame, joined his sons in the shenanigans. Now, laughing and happy, the four of them went off leaving both Mom and me chuckling to ourselves.

Families are amazing, I thought. I'm heading home after spending about a month helping my Mom move from her home in Florida to Wisconsin of all places! Mom's two sisters live in Wisconsin, and, while she is still able (hale and hearty at 81) she will "play" with them rather than "burden" me.

Being with the three Schug sisters, aged 84, 81, and 77 was quite an experience for me. About the only thing that I had on them were my organizational skills--and I think that was more a character trait than a result of my younger age. Mom had about 150 boxes that she had prepared and packed in Florida. I had flown down and helped with the last 20 or so about a week before the move.

Then we were in Wisconsin, and with me hauling and opening, the three sisters diligently unpacked box after box, unwrapping memories while Mom provided us with a running commentary, expounding upon the history of each knickknack and piece of china. Smoothing out and folding the newspapers that had wrapped each item, we gradually finished recreating Mom's personal cozy home.

Stopping now and then for lunch, or to go out to purchase a few essentials, gave me the opportunity to stand back and watch these sisters interact. At the furniture store they teased and flirted with the young salesman. Mom settled for a conservative red patterned couch, but all agreed that the pillows should be a wildly contrasting wavy pattern that could be used for "hypnotizing" each other in order to get the upper hand--especially during their highly competitive Scrabble games.

Of course they had their "senior" moments--like the time Aunt Mary left to go home and came back about ten minutes later after not finding her car in the empty parking lot. She had forgotten that I had picked her up--but then again, so had I! Aunt Frances would get turned around coming out of Mom's apartment and always head towards the dead end. Topping that, I turned off the GPS in the car about a block from the apartment, sure that I knew the rest of the way, only to spend the next ten minutes going around the block twice after missing the turn off into the parking lot both times.

Strong, independent women--this is my inheritance! What a wonderful chance to see them become young again in their own eyes, as they helped Mom set up her home again. Right now I'm watching my daughter check her wedding registry for the umpteenth time. All the gifts that she and her husband-to-be picked out are practical and necessary for creating their home. She's so excited to find just the right thing to make it their own, and to watch as family and friends help out in buying these things for them.

Families are amazing, and, as I begin to settle down a bit into my writing, I can feel that writing that class paper about Wisdom as a Way of Life, that is due the day after the wedding, will have to begin and end with the foundation of family. Family is the place unconditional love is learned and practiced. And love is the beginning and end of Wisdom. I'll let you know how it goes!

The purpose of the study of wisdom

In order to undertake the way of life of the philosopher early wisdom seekers believed in a spiritual practice, which involved exercising the soul as well as the body. These exercises “combined to shape the true person: free, strong, and independent.” (Hadot, 189) Despite the differences in the ancient schools of thought, some common features were apparent.

Most prevalent was the agreement that developing one’s spiritual and intellectual skill involved dialoguing with a master, as well as reading the texts and treatises of the masters. In this close community, not only was a specific lifestyle observed, but also masters would speak candidly with their pupils, disciplining and guiding them, since a transformation of self was expected. This self-transformation took place in two ways.

One, a going inward, focused on meditation and reflection on the texts and discourses. Contemplation on the higher values of moral and ethical conduct and Intellect produce a self-awareness of these same qualities within the individual often producing a mystical experience of oneness with the divine. The results were creating the environment within one’s self not to solve abstract or theoretical questions, but to acquire the ability to recognize and choose this type of life at every moment. This was a process to be aspired to, not a possession to be gained. (177, 193)

The second practice focused on self-expansion—finding the divine through an examination of nature and physics, as well as exercising one’s trust and imagination. Part of this comes about also through dialogue while appreciating the rights and position of one’s partner. Agreeing with the knowledge of the other allows for a larger truth horizon and therefore the recognition of a more universal perspective.

Discovering that cosmic perspective can also be attained in the contemplation of nature, studying and researching the earth and the stars, finding the depth and immensity of the world around us leaving us feeling insignificant yet caught up in the pleasure and elevation of thought of a divine nature. At each moment, I am myself and yet part of the whole, loving along with the universe. This experience brings with it a change in values as the possessions of daily life become insignificant in the face of this totality. (203, 207, 211)

A love of wisdom, or philosophy, then, is to the ancients a practice of raising “themselves to a cosmic perspective, plung[ing] into the immensity of space and time, and thereby transform[ing] their vision of the world . . . It is essentially an effort to become aware of ourselves, our being-in-the-world, and our being-with-others.” (276)

The purpose of the study of wisdom then would be to bring us back to an original state of communion: one with Nature, humanity, and the divine. This would be a lived life, and not a static or stagnant experience, with each change and each moment making a difference in the whole, for “a single drop of wine can be mixed with the entire sea and diffused throughout the whole world.” (Chrysippus qtd. in Hadot, 211)

Quotes and citings from “Wisdom As A Way of Life” by Pierre Hadot

Gathering for sharing and brainstorming

The phenomenon of social activism is becoming more and more prevalent in today’s society. It is just the sort of thing that appeals to the newly emerging subculture of people who are looking for what cultural anthropologist, Margaret Mead, calls “whole process” creativity and personal involvement.

Educator and activist, Parker J. Palmer says, “movements begin when people refuse to live divided lives.” The Cultural Creatives that I’ve been talking about for the last few months, who are looking for the reality of the time we are living in, are willing to look at themselves, who they are, and what values they hold dear.

Like many Cultural Creatives, I grew up seeped in the culture of the freedom and peace movements, where finding one’s self often meant idealistically looking for Shangri-la. As I matured, as did these grassroots movements, as well as the society around us, I believe that the idealism matured as well, turning from a dream into the hope of reality.

This reality then becomes the basis and framework for our worldview. This type of person chooses whom to relate to, what their priorities are, what they want to accomplish, and even whom they will vote for, as it is reflected by this worldview. Turning this into action that will benefit society gives truth and authenticity to their idealism, and sets new norms within the culture for what they view as success.

The container of this action, for me, is not what is important. As with the religious path, it matters not whether one is a Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim or Christian. I believe they can all be paths to the One. The principles behind our action will be what give substance to our results.

Similarly, whether we use biofuel, solar power or hydrogen in the next generation car is not something I would choose to worry about. Simply redistributing money, material resources or power will not accomplish poverty eradication, natural resource conservation, or globalization.

Wealth, like technology, is a tool that is created and used by people. And our natural resources do not belong to us anyway. How tools are used depends on the quality of the character and values of those who own the tools. Therefore, the principles that we see reflected in the nature around us, and how well we make them our own, will be the primary determinant if the decisions we make are wise or not.

In order to usher in a culture of wisdom, we must be aware of our choices. There are cultures of greed, of hate, and of selfishness—all arising from the choices we have made within the realm of our hearts. I believe that the phenomenon of the Cultural Creative must focus first on building a foundation for the transformation of heart.

We can begin by building bridges of understanding by making our common roots and origins, our common values, and purpose a shared experience. This can happen as we share our stories, making relationships with no hidden agendas or expectations.

Gathering together people of like mind, such as with conferences of educators, or scientists, or retired politicians, can be a beginning point. After their stories have been told, the time to brainstorm will begin, as each group focuses on problems within their discipline, taking into account the universal purpose of our lives—that of living for the sake of others.

Interestingly enough, I saw this very dynamic at work at the Doctoral Writing and Research class I wrote about in April. A group of doctoral candidates got together and shared their experiences. On that foundation the group brainstormed with each individual to assist in evolving and fine-tuning each person’s idea to create a dissertation that would take into account the individual’s passion and gifts, and how they could be expressed in a way that could be shared with and for the benefit of the rest of the world.

In my own case, I am choosing to tell each person’s story, focusing on the common threads shared by all, creating a tapestry of ideas and actions that I hope will become a model for others to pattern their own stories after.

A time for new habits

Now that we are finally taking heed of such disasters as growing extinction rates and the reality of global warming we are beginning to notice what we have done wrong, as well as what we are doing right. By studying our legacy, one given to us by Mother Earth herself, we may find our roots, ones that will lead to the uncovering of a heart connection, beyond facts and figures, but using the facts and figures. This may be just the “reason” we need to create new habits and ways of thinking that are inclusive of the whole of creation—and just might make us happy to boot!

Happiness, however cannot be sustained without a cultural change towards goodness and an awareness of these principles of creation. Although we don’t favor Descartes’ mechanical view of life anymore, it is still in our habits and in our learning and business environments. We have the habit that bigger is better and that more is not enough. Our education system is build on left brain memorization and testing, and our businesses are profitable if they are increasing, despite the fact that the reality of that increase is based on using up our natural resources and polluting what is left.

Vaclav Havel writes that “democracy depends on citizens feeling responsible for something more than their own little corner of safety . . . It must have citizens who insist on participating in their society” who are inspired and guided by a nation’s ideals. This participatory role is a must if our habits are to be broken. Only then can we experience ourselves in relationship again where mutual progress is based on mutual relationships.

Only then will we develop a felt connection to place that will indeed tell us who we are and dispel this myth of our rootless disconnect or dominion over the rest of the cosmos. Only then will we become humble enough to acknowledge the mystery behind our evolutionary spiral and become able to truly understand our co-creative role in it.

Lewis Mumford in The Transformations of Man, wrote of these changes in our worldview. “In this vision humanity is nature rendered self-conscious, one part of the cosmos capable of reflecting on itself, which has evolved so it stands on the threshold of conscious participation in the unfolding of the whole.”

However, developing, or rather, evolving the tools necessary to access and record this change takes time. Although the change and the need to change our worldview has been noted and discussed since the 50s, reframing a culture so that it will affect our daily lives takes a language change as well as an interweaving of disciplines and practices capable of providing a more holistic viewpoint.

Changing minds and hearts and creating new models, memes, rituals and practices takes time. Those of my generation grew up along side of a variety of grassroots movements, each working in its own little sphere of influence. We all grew up listening and taking to heart these messages of the civil rights, freedom, women and gay rights, peace, environmental and spiritual/consciousness movements.

All these models, whose values we take for granted today, were helping to create the external environment that would hold the new paradigm of what Paul Ray calls the Cultural Creatives. Ray suggests that it wasn’t until the second generation of “New Agers” appeared that our efforts turned from the needs of the individual to “efforts to come up with cultural solutions.”

It seems to me that this is the logical progression. For us to learn a new way of life we must have models that embody this new standard, beginning with our own individual body/spirit unity. Paul Ray emphasizes this when he writes, “There is one more factor that is significant now. It is the development of a new kind of movement where the participants take convergence for granted because they carry that convergence within themselves.”

This oneness of self can be reflected in our lives because of the increased awareness of the oneness of and interconnectivity of life. I believe it is true, that we will only be able to see the next step—that interconnectivity beginning to appear on a cultural level—in the second generation. The process has been modeled by parents, teachers and mentors and can now be assimilated with our children. The natural place for this to happen would be in our own families. This is the evolutionary path that I envision a wisdom culture taking.

As this original nature of ours is uncovered, the vision or original purpose of our lives will take on a clarity for us and we will begin to express it using our own unique gifts. This inspiration becomes our guiding ethic, our wisdom culture, and the path of our heart. It is Thomas Berry’s vision of the sacred depth of the individual as he or she expresses the universe’s awareness of its own being. Modeling that ethic and value to our children will certainly make the future more hopeful, and is, I believe, the next step in the progression of acknowledging the divine in our lives.

The vision quest

I was supposed to go on a vision quest this past week, but life got in the way. It was supposed to be a conditional offering for my family—to support them, embrace them, love them. My daughter is getting married, so I wanted to create a spiritual foundation for her and my new son to stand on as they start their life together. She’s also graduating from college and trying to find a “real” world job, so life is pretty stressful for her right now.

I wanted to surround Mom with love too as she moves to a new state, and starts a new home without Dad, who passed away. My brothers and sisters could use a little support from their big sister as well. One brother broke up with his girlfriend; another just got married, while a third lost his job and his apartment at the same time. My sister is trying to have a baby with no success; one nephew is also getting married, and another is working on finding himself and understanding his unique gifts.

Hmm, if this is just my family, maybe I need to do some heavy duty praying for the rest of the world as well. Just look at the headlines: war in Iraq, cyclone in Myanmar, China and Tibet, the Middle East, volcano in Chile, melting icebergs—the list goes on. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed these days. That’s one reason I decided to stay home—my family was overwhelmed and needed me to stick around.

Sometimes it’s easier to leave and not deal with the immediate situation, which often takes more time and patience. I was going to go to the small piece of land that Mom kept in the Catskill Mountains and lay the stone foundation for a small cabin some of us were thinking of building. I wouldn’t have to speak to anyone, deal with anyone’s problems, or cook dinner. I could meditate and work, placing each rock with care and concern for each one of my family members.

That was what I had envisioned. Now I’d have to find something else to do instead that I felt would have the same intention. The answer came quickly. I had brought some stones from our land in the Catskills and placed them haphazardly in the corner of our yard, added a few flowers and created a quick rock garden. It was in desperate need of a redesign and some care and concern. One stone for each family member, placed lovingly, and surrounded with flowers, took two days of lugging, digging, planting and watering.

But that wasn’t enough. Something else was needed—something more fundamental and difficult to accomplish. Two or three years ago we had an external pipe burst in our front yard. To replace it the water company had to dig up the brick walk on the side of the house. The bricks have remained neatly stacked against the wall since then, while the ground has grown over with grass. I needed to replace those bricks, and recreate the walk.

By the third night I couldn’t sleep, my body ached so much. Our earth is not rich, dark and loamy. It is red clay, almost as hard as the bricks themselves. I couldn’t even get the pitchfork to sink more than an inch into the ground with me jumping up and down on it. Some of the bricks were broken and of varying sizes and shapes. Some were mortared together, and some had six inches of concrete and gravel still attached to them. It wasn’t just a puzzle to fit the pieces together, it was more like a Frankenstein monster that I was determined to make beautiful.

On the sixth day I had eight more bricks to lay, then four. My neighbor, and sister-of-my-heart, called over the fence, “Are you almost done?” Considering I had started four hours earlier, I distractedly responded in the affirmative. But as was the case for the past few days, most bricks I had already laid had to be re-placed in order to fit the subsequent ones together.

In the midst of my struggles, and determination to finish on this day, I didn’t hear Doris coming into the yard. She was carrying a tray with three glasses and a bottle of sparkling cider. Her husband followed her in with three chairs. I hadn’t noticed that they were following my progress from day to day, or that they even cared. But here they were, ready to celebrate my victory and cheer for my success!

My quest to support, love and embrace my family had come right back to me. As I sat sipping sparkling cider with Doris, Winston went down on his hands and knees to fit in those last few bricks. Isn’t that amazing? That never could have happened in the woods alone. Family and community are so important in building a culture of wisdom and love. And what better foundation is there than being surrounded by those who are willing to build it together with you?

So far this year

Wow, since the beginning of the year so much has happened. In January, the school I was working for finished up its accreditation, of which I was the Chair. It went extremely well, with no stipulations or changes!

In February I got sent to Florida for a Resident Life Seminar that my job paid for, since I was going to write my dissertation on the life of the child, the interconnection of academic and artistic curriculum bound together by the resident life program.

I went back again in March for my brother's wedding. Then some changes: my boss, who had been so supportive of everything I did, resigned. There was some political maneuvering at the top levels and he was made a scapegoat. He wouldn't stand for it, so left. That left me "in charge" but I also had 2 PhD classes to go to the end of March and beginning of April.


One was in NY, the other in CA (saw redwoods for the first time, oh my!) The one in CA was about my dissertation. With all this commotion at work I had decided that I couldn't write it about school since the leadership style had changed from one of being inclusive to divided and competing for power, so I was going to just expand on my master's thesis.

I showed Jim Garrison, the President of Wisdom University, my thesis, and he said that it was a good first draft! Yeay, seems like half the work was already done. Then I went to the class and everything changed. The short story is that most everyone in the class spoke about finding themselves through finding their connection with the Divine (choose your own personal word for Him/Her/All/One) which led to finding their passion and how they could offer it/serve others.

What a wonderful theme binding us all together I thought, and with that I came up with my real dissertation proposal--to tell these people's stories as an example/model for this kind of alternative education that uses left and right brain, spiritual and physical, intellectual and emotional in order for the result to be something of value that can be offered to the world, and as an example of the emerging wisdom culture (as WU puts it, or as I wrote about, the new culture of heart) Tentative title: "Divine Sparks, Lighting the Fires Within: How Dissertation Words Derived from a Wisdom Culture Are Able to Create a New Paradigm and Light the Way into the Future" Pretty nifty huh?!

So, anyway, when I came back, work had decided that they didn't need me anymore, and I got laid off. That happened last week. Hmmm, interesting, after all that work I did for them. I was told I was too "aligned with my boss" (who was more than a month gone by this time) and that I was overqualified for the remaining position.

Now I find myself jobless again, but with loads of work to do. I've done 3 out of a required 12 classes. The next one is the beginning of June and I've got a 15 page post-paper, a 7 page pre-paper and 6 THICK books to read before then. Maybe it's a good idea that I don't have to work. Now about money . . .

Oh, and my daughter is graduating in May, getting married in August, and I'm moving my mom from Florida to Wisconsin the end of June. Besides all that I'm just moseying along, writing my posts, my papers, my column (religionandspirituality.com) and reading away. Wait . . . is that the grass calling to be mowed, and the hedges to be trimmed, the house to be cleaned and the laundry to be done? How did I do all these things before and work at the same time!

Imagining a Wisdom Culture

Sitting here in my study, I imagine what this wisdom culture would look like, and start thinking that there are things I’m doing right now that embody that culture. Every morning our family wakes to a day of development and compassion. Beginning with a practice—a time for learning and growing—whether it be reading from the Bible or a philosophy book, practicing Yoga or just exercising to music together—our family starts the day centering mind on the greater purpose and body on the individual intention. We even have a family pledge we declare that speaks in part of reconnecting to the land and living for a higher purpose.

Eating whole and healthy foods are an important part of starting our day. Some of them even come from our own garden in the backyard. Others come from the local farmer’s market, one of the many in one the fastest growing economies in America. Our daughter went to the neighborhood school that we helped start with a group of parents who were interested in fostering an education embracing a diverse background of cultures and religions, embodying a holistic form of education that includes mind, heart and body unity, not just the rote learning of the tradition school system.

My husband is from Norway. Even this fact, I believe speaks to the real beginnings of a wisdom culture where international and inter-racial unions are the norm and not the exception. He is an expert with working with his hands and can fix anything that can be taken apart and put back together again. His joy is to work in the building where he is building engineer designing and implementing green systems and recycling procedures.

At this point in my life I am working for a pre-professional ballet high school. Combining the academic and artistic fields the school embodies the paradigm of an alternative education system recognizing that intellect without emotion and will is deaf and blind. My current responsibility is to help develop a curriculum for the life of the child to embody a unity of these areas demonstrating the beauty of the human spirit through a unified mind and body reflected in the dance form of ballet.


Our daughter is about to graduate from college with a degree in biomedical engineering. Her first project was to solve the problem of one of the aging dams holding back the mighty Mississippi River. As other engineering students struggled with imagining ways to support and enforce the outdated structure, our daughter came up with an original solution. Gradually relocating businesses and families who lived in harm’s way, she let the structure wear away, for, as she said, “The River will eventually go where the river wants to go.”

These very personal examples, I believe are the necessary foundation for and beginning evidence of the wisdom culture to come. Of course, I believe that on a larger level the whole energy consumption/production model will be revamped as we turn solar, wind and ocean current energy into usable form. In fact, much of the technological expertise and awareness is already in place just waiting for the right time for this to happen. A similar situation can be seen throughout the world in one city or another in the area of transforming cities, transportation and industry. Bill McKibben reports in his book, Hope, Human and Wild: True Stories of Living Lightly on the Earth of the dramatic changes even the poorest of cities have already provoked by thinking outside of the box, another sign of these emerging times. Changes in downtown areas, rapid transit, and creating a community that feels responsible for the public arena around which they live and earn their livelihood are also evidences of an emerging wisdom culture.

As for politics and religions, I can only imagine that the grassroots movements that have been the precursors of the social and political human rights movements that many of the “Cultural Creatives” belonged to and participated in, will continue to be relevant in developing “home churches” or small group encounters and action groups. These groups will be centers for discussing and practicing different forms of spirituality or involved in taking responsibility for various aspects of running an effective and prosperous community. This is when knowing our strengths and our passion is important, for each individual, no matter how insignificant, will be a unique and invaluable piece of the whole puzzle that makes up this emerging worldview.

Healing Words

Awaken, my love;
The time for sleeping has ended.
I am waiting for you at the door;
Just walk through . . .

With these words, I am asked to begin my healing path. I asked, “What do I have to offer?” I am given the answer, “Healing words. Words of comfort and acceptance.” Different cultures, different peoples all have distinctive words. However, healing words flow from a stream of consciousness that accepts all of humanity as brothers and sisters—all beings as family.

I asked, “What is the one Word that will speak volumes?” I was told, “Healing is reconnection.” Then I was told to go out and find a stick. Find a stick that will represent that verbal proclamation. I found a seedpod. I was in California, so it happened to be a very small cone on the end of a branch of a giant redwood tree.


That seedpod was the germ of an idea that can now be made manifest. As the facilitator of these exercises, Rev. Dr. Tg Belcheir, writes, “The more you speak the words with conviction, as if what they describe has already occurred, the likelier it will be that they will manifest.” Healing words will help us create a healed world.

Another stick I was to find represented me. “What would you wave into existence with this magic stick?” I was asked. I would make the energy between all of us, and all beings, visible so that we could see the effect we have on each other. Words between us have been a source of disconnection and harm. Remember, however, that healing is reconnection, as long as the energy that precipitates this reconnection is sparked by the Divine.

I asked, “Show me the degree of my passion.” I was shown a bird of light sweeping through the sky, getting closer and closer, initiating waves of light, wave upon wave, flooding the land. I was told, “What you are seeking is seeking you with the same passion.”

I asked, “How will this serve my highest good? How does this embrace my knowingness and truth? How does this reveal what is unique and original in me?” The journey into ourselves is also the Journey into the Other. Often, on this path we judge and receive ourselves by the reflections and responses we receive from others. As this is based on their own abilities and inabilities to give and receive, many times we get an invalid picture of ourselves.

We won’t see who we really are until we see ourselves reflected in the Heart of the Beloved. This initiates a new story. This journey parallels the new Cosmology that science is unveiling. As we uncover the story of Cosmogenesis we find we have a new way of understanding our own sense of self. Thomas Berry writes in “The Great Work”, “Each being in its subjective depths carries that numinous mystery whence the universe emerges into being. This we might identify as the sacred depth of the individual.”

As each individual discovers his or her own sacred depth they will find a new connection to the Divine creating new words of healing and restoration. Understanding the vastness of this creative act can be felt in the words of Howard Thurman, “The boundaries of self did not hold me.” These words of our own creativity needs must spread like a fire across the land, and are the beginning of the new culture of wisdom.

In this emerging wisdom culture, we are turning to new alternatives. An alternative education will contribute to this healing and oneness. In this room full of dissertation candidates, the common theme running through most of our works is the path of finding our passion and ourselves, and offering it to others. The interesting thing is that this course runs first through the Heart of the Beloved.

This journey toward the Other is what precipitated the journey inward—as well as outward—in the dissertation process. Repeatedly being deluded by our connection with others has kept us from discovering that core of our original being. The journey into the Other, however, is a true/authentic connection/reflection that allows us to discover who we really are and then return a purer reflection back to the world.

This fits perfectly with the notion that inner healing comes with the purpose of serving. The one supports the many becomes the One. The dissertation stories I heard this week are the beginning foundations for a common base of understanding and interaction as a healing energy begins to flow from these words creating a new world culture of heart.

When present and future collide

When we collide
A universe of stars fill our eyes
When we collide
Like heaven has exploded inside
--k.d. lang

The last day of my class on “The Emerging Wisdom Culture” found us participating in a modified Joanna Macy ritual. Creating an inner circle, seated and facing an outer circle, we began. Breathing is always a most important first step. Breathing in deeply and then out with the “ah” of Ya Hadi we created a sacred circle of sound that contained us within a web of safety.

Those seated in the outside circle were representing the present; those seated in the inner circle portrayed humanity one hundred years in the future. I was one of the ones representing the future. “This is the question those in the future are asking you who are in the present. It is one of three. The future cannot speak; only listen to your ancestors’ remarks,” our guide said.

“What was it like back then, in the midst of climate change and war? What were you feeling when you saw people fighting each other, not appreciating their environment, not getting along with other cultures and peoples?” The woman sitting opposite me had bright blue eyes. She was so sincere and intense. “We had hard times, but we also had hope,” she began.

“There was a hope that a higher consciousness was within our reach. Within us was a belief that shone through, here and there throughout the world, always expanding, that a divinity was being expressed and amplified. The more people got together, the more they noticed that this was a time of transition. We weren’t satisfied with the way things were. We were looking for something that would bring us together on a planetary level, that would benefit all peoples, all beings.”

“The outer circle will now rotate to the right.” A brown-eyed Hawaiian was now sitting opposite me. My tongue seemed glued to my mouth, unable, and unwilling to speak within the intense atmosphere that had been created by the sincerity and earnestness of the participants. “Your descendants ask, ‘what kind of things gave you joy at this time? Where did you find your inspiration and hope?’ ”

The answer came quickly. “Our joy was real because of you. You, the children of the future, were our hope and our motivation. We never gave up thinking that you deserved the best we could offer. Whenever we thought of giving up, knowing that you were a reality made it possible to keep moving, to keep sacrificing.

“We had pain too, but our grief became a point of unity. We would rally around our mutual suffering finding new and deeper sources of compassion and inspiration, knowing that the one thing we didn’t want was for others to suffer, for our world to suffer. We wanted to create something better for you.”

I was in tears by the time an older woman sat across from me and took my hands. Granddaughter, she called me. A sob escaped my lips. I was the future, looking at my ancestors with so much love and appreciation for the difficulties they endured in order to bring me into existence in a world that lived and thrived. The question asked this time was, “What did you do during this time to help change things?”

“I often felt that I didn’t do enough,” the woman who portrayed my grandmother said. “That is until I realized that even the smallest things were sacred and could be offered for the sake of the future. I would find myself cutting carrots and thinking of you, knowing that my efforts to appreciate this food and prepare it with love for someone I loved, added to the foundation of love I was building for the future.”

I could feel this grandmother palpably swelling with the love for her partner, her children, grandchildren—and me. As she grew larger before my eyes, I saw in her the hope for the future. We don’t have to be the wisest, or the most powerful. We don’t have to be in positions of influence or control. We just need to let our own light shine, so that one by one, that brilliance will turn into a raging fire lighting the way into the future.

Wisdom or Folly?

Paul Ray, author of The Cultural Creatives, put together a set of 15 criteria that can help us determine how cultures describe their actions to themselves. The same style of practical action can be applied to a group or organization as well. Today the task we were given was to perceive and evaluate how wisdom and folly actually operate in a group that we are involved in. I'll just mention a few of those points here.

Often we agree that a wise course of action might be best in some situations, but more often we will rationalize why we act from our own individual needs and points of view instead. Take, for example, the big picture: Do we take the long-term view, thinking not just of our generation, but preparing for our children and grandchildren? "Ah, but I'm a specialist in this area; I need to focus and get this job done now. That's what is important for me to accomplish at this time."

How about using many ways of knowing: Are we combining our intellectual knowledge with our love of something, or how it makes us feel? Are we recognizing our limitations and asking others their opinion? "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" and "I'm willing to fight for what I believe" are two explanations that work well. Meanwhile we ignore things like carpal tunnel syndrome, bad eyesight and increased headaches, not to mention discovering new ways to change and grow.

Authenticity seems to be an up-and-coming watchword for this generation. We are interested in a name brand because it is real and lives up to the hype; therefore it is trustworthy and has integrity. We are looking for that in people as well. "I've got to get the job done though, whether I like it or not. That may mean pretending interest, or concealing the truth, but sometimes that's necessary in order to succeed."

And how about leadership? What do we value in a leader? Can our leaders have the quality to inspire ideas and cooperation among the group so that the individuals feel empowered and have a sense of ownership? Or are we still looking for that hero who will do it all for us? After all, we do need heroes in our society, someone to look up to. ("We've just got to make sure that people always see him or her as right and good.")

We all want the best for ourselves and our children. But experience tells us that cultures maintain themselves for a long time before behavior changes. We want to help, as long as the change won't impact our current lifestyle, especially in the direction of our pocketbook. We often get locked in to a way of life, a course of action and don't see the habit to break until someone points it out to us.

That's why it's a good idea to get outside every once in a while. Creation is longing to show us the value of diversity, cooperation, mutual respect and long-term commitment — not to mention unconditional love, patience and forgiveness. As the ones who "know," Homo sapiens have still got a long way to go before we are truly "wise."

Words of Life

I am in the process of discovering what direction I will be going in with my doctoral dissertation. It has to do with words. Healing words, peaceful words, truthful words. Words that support, that uplift, that inspire, that reveal. Words that appreciate, that give hope, and strength, and the courage to continue. Words make up our stories, weaving a web of life, connecting us together and filling us with delight and with new life.

God's word is revealed by how it flows. Different cultures and peoples have distinctive words, for life is diverse, and growing up in New York City is different than growing up in Banjul. Just as water must flow in order to be the origin of life, a stream can support the growth of lilies and a river can grow a cypress. However, a small stream joins the river and the river the ocean, and all things can gain life through this cycle.

Suppose we are a reservoir that stores these words. Are you keeping the words inside, or are they flowing out for the sake of others? The size of your reservoir doesn't matter; even a small one can overflow with truth, beauty and goodness. As water flows out of you, it will provide water for others. Perhaps it will evaporate and form clouds and give rainfall to all things; this circulation takes place everywhere, benefiting everyone.

In this way, words can sustain the life of all things. What words are we raining down on others? What is the quality of the words that feed our heads and our hearts? This value is what I want to emphasize, to unfold in my work, with my own words. If we were created with the Word, surely we can be re-created with the word.

In this time of spring, when the gentle rains can ease the transition from winter, in like manner gentle words can ease our suffering and soften the ground so that our original beauty can be reflected in the flowers that blossom. I'm hoping that my dissertation will weave a web of healing that just might reflect enough light to create a rainbow!

Splashing in the stream of life

to create a place
a mind like a river
and a heart like a well

God in our waters creates

rainbows
and sparkles
and sprays

of fat droplets
of love

I have a friend, a sister, who opens my heart to tears. What a wonderful gift she has given me--helping me flow in the stream of life and dive beneath the surface of reality. When it is difficult to see one's self reflected in the waters because of the rapids, having someone's arms wrapped around you like a life jacket is surely a blessing.

Blackwater National Refuge

Beauty is a product of the purpose and direction of the connection. As I drove out of the park, I had to stop one last time. The sun was setting, and there on the water, even reflecting on the soil bank itself, were the last vestiges of its rays, turning everything golden. In this one last kiss before sleeping, the sun offered me the reality of that dream of life and love.

Moving On

I believe in resolving differences, in getting painful incidents out of the way, clearing up misunderstandings and moving on. I have learned that the pain of the initial conversation is much less than carrying the burden of a difficult relationship for days or even months. Isn't that the way it happens?

I have also learned that if, after my initial, "What you have done or said is causing me pain", I receive a response of, "Well, you have hurt me too", that the best course of action is to remain quiet. This gives the other the opportunity to express their own unvoiced pain and let go of their burden. Often the compassion I find in listening to their pain is impetus enough to let go of my own.

Hope happens (building a Big Bang)

My neighbor reminded me that there was a difference between hope and expectancy. I've been writing about chaos — that it is not the absence of order, but the canvas of creativity in life's evolutionary flow. I can hope to create a masterpiece through my efforts, or I can expect that a masterpiece will be revealed, leaving me with little or no responsibility.

That hope is like an emptiness in me. It is a space that I make for something created to fill. An expectancy is a space already filled, possibly with good things, often with assumptions. Hope is a space in my heart I make for others to grow within, or an emptiness that I allow inside my being that recognizes the emergence of something that is bigger than me.

Like Michelangelo's "La Pieta," whose form emerged from the solid block of marble he was sculpting, creativity that emanates from the heart will unveil the order and flow of the universe. Others will find harmony or peace from the order, or inspiration and excitement from the flow of energy. In my life, my hope is to be able to create things, events, relations that others can join in — for a moment, a month or a lifetime.

Expectation comes from the head, from thoughts and mullings that are based not only on empirical data, but also on our subjective desires and imaginings. This may leave out the possibility of creating within an enlightened whole. Our brain doesn't say to our stomach, "I expect you to pull your weight, to digest food and move along the energy gained to the other organs of the body, so that I won't have to do any more or less than I am doing right now."

Our brain hopes that the stomach will continue to do its job, but when there is a problem, the brain is the first to let us know, and to find other ways to cope and help. Each system works in harmony with the whole, as does each organ, each cell, each molecule and each atom, continually creating order from chaos. Each, in effect, lives and reflects a pattern that includes itself and others.

Since the beginning of this year I've noticed that chaos has been a constant companion of mine — emptiness and chaos. Considering the Big Bang, it's the perfect combination for creativity to happen!

(Originally published at www.religionandspirituality.com on March 15, 2007)